Double Standard?

You know, when someone means a lot to you…When your heart is in that person, in one form or another, somehow, at least with me, I subconsciously become really carefull what I say and how I say it. It just happens. Even when I try not to care, automatically, that annoying carefulness pops up in what I say or do. And because of my lack of freedom of action and expression, because of that hesitating carefulness, I always screw things up.

But when that person doesn’t mean shit. Or at least, I treat him/her like shit, and just get my point across without fear of consequence or impression…Its crazy how many times they suddenly get all ass-kissy. A helluva lot more so than when I actually try to show them that I care.

That’s crazy.

Why is a show of emotion automatically be interpreted as weakness or desperation? Why should I always have to verbally beat them over the head like inferior dogs just to get them to hear me out? I mean, you don’t want to treat the people that mean a lot to you like THAT. You shouldn’t have to. Ar, whatever.