This will be my vent. What a small vent it is. I don’t have the patience to squeeze all my indecipherable frustrations through these small pores, so what I say seems random and juvenile.
Mankind can be such a shallow, traitorous, parasitic thing. Only one in a million are the beacons against which I’ve been mistakenly measuring the world against. Only one in a million remain great in the face of adversity and a true reflection of a human being. And my fear right now is that I’m not one of those million, the person I always fancied myself to be thanks to the false hopes of movies and Disney. Because in these sequential moments of induced panic and despair that we call life, I find myself unraveling, a part of me sulking that things are not the way that they should be. If circumstances were the way that they were “meant” to be, then I can be myself, happy, and expressive and smart and brilliant and just plain Saman. But in these tough times, I cant be myself, so I just sit back miserably and in despair hoping that they’ll pass and I can finally breathe and be myself again. But I think I have to start realizing, that those easy times with no hardships was never really meant to be. They were free bonuses. Not life. Life is these hard parts. The parts I’m wishing would go away so I can be myself, and so maybe I’m missing out on life because I’m under the delusional impression that the times where I can shine at my brightest will be times when circumstances will be easy.
Its how much you shine when times are tough that determines who you are. Not how much you shine when it’s convenient. It’s the tough, inconvenient times when you get stabbed in the back by people closest to you. Its during these times where you disappoint yourself by failing to achieve your aspirations which in turn leads to an immeasurably self-destructive doubt in yourself. It’s in life’s greatest moments when you feel your back being broken by those closest to you. There is no other life, just this one. So shine, if you can, little whiner. Shine. Nobody said it was going to be easy. To give off light, the little piece of wood has to burn.
So burn. Burn alive, and be brilliant. Don’t lament burning, rather celebrate being a light, and keep shining.
Regardless of circumstance, regardless of self-doubt, and pain and failures and losing every single thing you hold dear and feeling yourself being passed off like dust off a shoulder, keep heads high and shine as if there’s not a feather of burden on your back. That’s what will make you exceptional. Not the easy victories, but the victories in the midst of death and destruction pulling you down with every step you take. That’s what will make the victories memorable.
There it is again: my childish short-sighted optimism distorting hard reality into a warped breed of optimism, completely forgetting the original worry and turning it into false hope. Sentimentalizing the real issue.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Stood up...Stand up. Stand up? Stand up.
So what do you do when you have nothing to say?
You remind yourself that you exist for a reason, and for as long as your alive, you have a purpose to drive yourself to death for, and you will always have some aspect to express about it, whether its in writing, or song, or action, or film.
You know? I’m thinking of trying out for some stand-up comedy. Most of them out there are the ultimate pessimists. Winner Pessimists, I call them. They’ve got serious issues in the world just like any other tom dick or harry, but instead of letting it get to them, because their smart or have a sense of humour, they see the humor behind it, and they make jokes out of it. Like how Russell Peters dad used to beat him up, or how Francisco never really fit in with the jocks of life, or how Chris Rock has deep-seated race issues..etc etc. So they take these perceived negative aspects, and instead of getting consumedly bitter over it, they joke about it. Great, good for them. They script the shit their going to say in a skeleton form, and talk around those 5, 6 or 50 topics that they’v scripted before hand, so a lot of their stand ups are mostly repetitions or improvisations of their own old jokes.
But theres a few stand ups out there (like Craig Ferguson…damn, love that dude.), he gets up every night to the same audience (um…National television audience) and spends 10 minutes just expressing his thoughts on the events of the day/week. Every night a different thing. So he just stands up there and talks shit about the things he saw, and he’s just genuinely funny. They way he interprets the world, the way he sees things is just fucking strange and hilarious to see. He’s not trying to be funny. He just goes up there and says whatever the heck comes to his head and its funny.
So I’m thinking, maybe I should give it a try. Sure, I’ll probably get completely consumed with a fear and nervousness that I wont even fully understand but will end up completely ruining any prospects of me being a success…but I gots to try, right? And just try not to think so much and just dump whatever in my head onto the audiences lap with no fear of consequence or appropriateness. I don’t want to be funny, I just want to be me.
But where the hell do I start? Where do I go? Haha.
Oh yeah, my opening line! “what do you do when you have nothing to say?” I started this blog with that line for a reason…I was thinking. When I go on stage, hoping to be a good stand up, I’ll start getting nervous, and wondering what the HELLLLLLL to say, right? So I figured I could get myself started every single time with the line “what do you do when you have nothing to say?” (after the intro of course)..then I could work my way through the stand up from there. For example, I start out with the aforementioned line, and today, with nothing better to say, respond to my line by saying “you dip your nose in chocolate and spend your lunch hour trying to touch it with your tongue.” And then carry on from there…get what I’m saying? Kind of like how ol’Craig Ferguson always starts his stand ups by saying “It’s a great day for America, everybody! Why? Um…” then goes on from there.
It SHOULD work, right? Right?? RIGHT??!?!?!??
You remind yourself that you exist for a reason, and for as long as your alive, you have a purpose to drive yourself to death for, and you will always have some aspect to express about it, whether its in writing, or song, or action, or film.
You know? I’m thinking of trying out for some stand-up comedy. Most of them out there are the ultimate pessimists. Winner Pessimists, I call them. They’ve got serious issues in the world just like any other tom dick or harry, but instead of letting it get to them, because their smart or have a sense of humour, they see the humor behind it, and they make jokes out of it. Like how Russell Peters dad used to beat him up, or how Francisco never really fit in with the jocks of life, or how Chris Rock has deep-seated race issues..etc etc. So they take these perceived negative aspects, and instead of getting consumedly bitter over it, they joke about it. Great, good for them. They script the shit their going to say in a skeleton form, and talk around those 5, 6 or 50 topics that they’v scripted before hand, so a lot of their stand ups are mostly repetitions or improvisations of their own old jokes.
But theres a few stand ups out there (like Craig Ferguson…damn, love that dude.), he gets up every night to the same audience (um…National television audience) and spends 10 minutes just expressing his thoughts on the events of the day/week. Every night a different thing. So he just stands up there and talks shit about the things he saw, and he’s just genuinely funny. They way he interprets the world, the way he sees things is just fucking strange and hilarious to see. He’s not trying to be funny. He just goes up there and says whatever the heck comes to his head and its funny.
So I’m thinking, maybe I should give it a try. Sure, I’ll probably get completely consumed with a fear and nervousness that I wont even fully understand but will end up completely ruining any prospects of me being a success…but I gots to try, right? And just try not to think so much and just dump whatever in my head onto the audiences lap with no fear of consequence or appropriateness. I don’t want to be funny, I just want to be me.
But where the hell do I start? Where do I go? Haha.
Oh yeah, my opening line! “what do you do when you have nothing to say?” I started this blog with that line for a reason…I was thinking. When I go on stage, hoping to be a good stand up, I’ll start getting nervous, and wondering what the HELLLLLLL to say, right? So I figured I could get myself started every single time with the line “what do you do when you have nothing to say?” (after the intro of course)..then I could work my way through the stand up from there. For example, I start out with the aforementioned line, and today, with nothing better to say, respond to my line by saying “you dip your nose in chocolate and spend your lunch hour trying to touch it with your tongue.” And then carry on from there…get what I’m saying? Kind of like how ol’Craig Ferguson always starts his stand ups by saying “It’s a great day for America, everybody! Why? Um…” then goes on from there.
It SHOULD work, right? Right?? RIGHT??!?!?!??
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Pre-call Day.
I’m on call tomorrow. I really don’t mind it, except I tend to feel this suffocating sense of obligation to professors, consultants and registrars around me. I hate that. Normally, I tell them to kiss my ass and go fuck themselves, but I’m trying to behave here to make sure all the heads of department have no reason to give me anymore pathetically uncessary delays and problems than I’ve already had….just gotta keep my head low a little longer, just keep silent to their small-minded jabs of culture and social hierarchy, then I’m out from under them.
Then maybe one day, I’ll come back for them. murHAHAHA.
Haha.
Hey, how many blogs are out there? Hundreds of thousands? Millions? Damn. Makes this little one so insignificant. I’ve gotta find a direction for this one to make it stand out, don’t I?
Anyway..I don’t have much to say. If I think of something, I promise I’ll come back here. But right now, I’m too bummed about having to go on call tomorrow (a public holiday – FREEDOM DAY in South Africa..the date of the first post-apartheid democratic elections), and then on call again on SuNday. Flip. Flap. Flot. Frik. Freak. Flark. FarOut. [insert another lame pg-13 rated swear word here]
Later
S
Then maybe one day, I’ll come back for them. murHAHAHA.
Haha.
Hey, how many blogs are out there? Hundreds of thousands? Millions? Damn. Makes this little one so insignificant. I’ve gotta find a direction for this one to make it stand out, don’t I?
Anyway..I don’t have much to say. If I think of something, I promise I’ll come back here. But right now, I’m too bummed about having to go on call tomorrow (a public holiday – FREEDOM DAY in South Africa..the date of the first post-apartheid democratic elections), and then on call again on SuNday. Flip. Flap. Flot. Frik. Freak. Flark. FarOut. [insert another lame pg-13 rated swear word here]
Later
S
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Silence...
What do you when you have nothing to say?
You let the silence do the talking. You never know what it says, and you never will. But it talks to you. Through the eternal moments of hearing nothing, comes the outcome. You wake up from the silence with a completely new energy, or a completely new lack thereof. Nobody knows what it dictates until you obey her.
Following whatever instructions the silence gave you, you involuntarily obey, and there you are, not even aware that you’re suddenly erupting with this new energy, but you roll with it. You live in it, and you revel in it, and you light the world around you with it, and everything changes for the better or for the worse, you feel like your exploding, and you’ll never stop exploding, and you keep roaring like some seemingly eternal nuclear furnace…right until the time that the silence comes for you again.
And everything’s suddenly silent again. All is quiet, and there sits silence with you, whispering as always. You try desperately to listen to her, but you cant make out a single sound and you know there’s some invisible part of you that’s listening attentively to her right at that very moment.
You try to repeat what you were doing with that energy before the silence came for you, but all efforts fall flat in your face. It only works when the silence says so. Silence is the boss. Not you. Silence says when you will explode like the sun and shine even brighter, not you.
So there you sit, in the emptiness of silence once again, waiting for her new instructions that no one can hear…
Hmmm…you know? Great material for my latest short story, huh? Ha! Made u look :)
I’m gonna keep writing somewhere else…adios!
You let the silence do the talking. You never know what it says, and you never will. But it talks to you. Through the eternal moments of hearing nothing, comes the outcome. You wake up from the silence with a completely new energy, or a completely new lack thereof. Nobody knows what it dictates until you obey her.
Following whatever instructions the silence gave you, you involuntarily obey, and there you are, not even aware that you’re suddenly erupting with this new energy, but you roll with it. You live in it, and you revel in it, and you light the world around you with it, and everything changes for the better or for the worse, you feel like your exploding, and you’ll never stop exploding, and you keep roaring like some seemingly eternal nuclear furnace…right until the time that the silence comes for you again.
And everything’s suddenly silent again. All is quiet, and there sits silence with you, whispering as always. You try desperately to listen to her, but you cant make out a single sound and you know there’s some invisible part of you that’s listening attentively to her right at that very moment.
You try to repeat what you were doing with that energy before the silence came for you, but all efforts fall flat in your face. It only works when the silence says so. Silence is the boss. Not you. Silence says when you will explode like the sun and shine even brighter, not you.
So there you sit, in the emptiness of silence once again, waiting for her new instructions that no one can hear…
Hmmm…you know? Great material for my latest short story, huh? Ha! Made u look :)
I’m gonna keep writing somewhere else…adios!
Once Upon a Time...
Once upon a time, there was a boy that found himself standing in the middle of a war with huge warriors and skull-decorated brutes that crashed and screamed and hacked away at each other all around him, roaring war cries and dropping by the hundreds to the floor, blood and guts flying everywhere.
The little boy felt overwhelmed. He was so out of place in this battlefield of violent giants. But everyone stayed away from this skinny-looking half-pint kid. This kid had two things in his hand, the one was an enormous sword, it looked like it weighed twice as much as his own weight, but he held it and played naively with it like it weighed nothing. In his other hand he had an indestructible shield. With these two, nothing could get in this scrawny looking kids way. Nothing.
He could mow through both sides of the army as if they weren’t there. He was the worst and most deadly killer of all the dark-eyed behemoths that were battling around him. And they were all terrified of him. They didn’t pay much attention to him because they were busy fighting each other, but in the back of their minds, they saw these huge weapons in this kids hand, and if push came to shove, he could annhialate them with it.
But the kid just walked around in the middle of this battle field, bewildered, and in his own happy little world, playing his own little games, and finding humor in everything.He didn’t even realize that he was carrying around these two unbeatable weapons with him. He just played with them like he took them for granted.He didn’t know that he could fight better than anyone there. He didn’t even fully realize that there was a battle to be fought.
Slowly, the a very few of the warriors around him begin realizing that this kid has these invinvible weapons, and that he doesn’t even fully realize that he has them. Some just patiently try to support him until he realizes it, while others start growing bold in the face of this harmless looking kid that they were previously so threatened by.And they start picking on him. Poking him. Pushing him, trying to slash at him with their swords. And the boy just nonchalantly walks out of the way of some, and laughs gaily at others.
But some of them start getting to him, and the boy gets a little annoyed. But he still doesn’t know he has these weapons that can destroy everything, so he feels incredibly helpless, and irritated. But they just continue pushing him, making him feel more and more like he’s going to lose it…
And the boy starts wondering: If he’s forced to fight these huge bullies that seem so keen on hurting him, then can he really do it? Can he survive? What weapons will he use to fight them?
He starts questioning himself for the first time, growing irrationally inconfident at times, and incredibly empowered at others.
But they keep pushing him.
And the patient boy slowly gets more and more angry…
To be continued?
The little boy felt overwhelmed. He was so out of place in this battlefield of violent giants. But everyone stayed away from this skinny-looking half-pint kid. This kid had two things in his hand, the one was an enormous sword, it looked like it weighed twice as much as his own weight, but he held it and played naively with it like it weighed nothing. In his other hand he had an indestructible shield. With these two, nothing could get in this scrawny looking kids way. Nothing.
He could mow through both sides of the army as if they weren’t there. He was the worst and most deadly killer of all the dark-eyed behemoths that were battling around him. And they were all terrified of him. They didn’t pay much attention to him because they were busy fighting each other, but in the back of their minds, they saw these huge weapons in this kids hand, and if push came to shove, he could annhialate them with it.
But the kid just walked around in the middle of this battle field, bewildered, and in his own happy little world, playing his own little games, and finding humor in everything.He didn’t even realize that he was carrying around these two unbeatable weapons with him. He just played with them like he took them for granted.He didn’t know that he could fight better than anyone there. He didn’t even fully realize that there was a battle to be fought.
Slowly, the a very few of the warriors around him begin realizing that this kid has these invinvible weapons, and that he doesn’t even fully realize that he has them. Some just patiently try to support him until he realizes it, while others start growing bold in the face of this harmless looking kid that they were previously so threatened by.And they start picking on him. Poking him. Pushing him, trying to slash at him with their swords. And the boy just nonchalantly walks out of the way of some, and laughs gaily at others.
But some of them start getting to him, and the boy gets a little annoyed. But he still doesn’t know he has these weapons that can destroy everything, so he feels incredibly helpless, and irritated. But they just continue pushing him, making him feel more and more like he’s going to lose it…
And the boy starts wondering: If he’s forced to fight these huge bullies that seem so keen on hurting him, then can he really do it? Can he survive? What weapons will he use to fight them?
He starts questioning himself for the first time, growing irrationally inconfident at times, and incredibly empowered at others.
But they keep pushing him.
And the patient boy slowly gets more and more angry…
To be continued?
Monday, April 23, 2007
Borrrrring! :)
So! Surgury rotations really aren’t so bad, so far. Then again, I still haven’t started the rotation in the Big Bad Wolfs hospital yet…that’ll come soon enough.
And I’m actually STUDYING. Amazing. Me. Not procrastinating. Okay, only procrastinating a little bit. A leeeetle beeet.
God, I love meeting and talking, and just interacting with people on an honest level. There’s so much unconscious learning in that. Cliché, but true.
And the Virginia Tech University students can finally go back to lectures now, huh? Well, good for them.
HAhaa, yeah, I really don’t have anything to say. Well, more like I don’t feel like writing anything in my present half-pint-effort mood
Enjoy
Adios
And I’m actually STUDYING. Amazing. Me. Not procrastinating. Okay, only procrastinating a little bit. A leeeetle beeet.
God, I love meeting and talking, and just interacting with people on an honest level. There’s so much unconscious learning in that. Cliché, but true.
And the Virginia Tech University students can finally go back to lectures now, huh? Well, good for them.
HAhaa, yeah, I really don’t have anything to say. Well, more like I don’t feel like writing anything in my present half-pint-effort mood
Enjoy
Adios
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Does this song make me look gay? Bite me.
I’ve had this song stuck in my head for so long. Its this corny old song from the 80’s Small Town Boy by Bronski Beat
Yeah, I know, get off my case. But anyway. I didn’t realize it’s a gay song. Haha. Buncha horny homos singing for another horny homo (hey, that’s not discriminating…its just honest, fuck off.). My point is, I really love this song..a lot.
People say you love songs because you can relate to what their saying, that’s half-truth bull. I cant relate to homosexual love to some small town dude. These singers are singing about what they feel about this brown eyed boy.
Emotions are universal. Everybody knows what its like to be in love, or ecsastic, or depressed, or furious or shattered…Whats different is the shallow circumstances that evokes these emotions. They sing about the circumstances, sure…but the tune of their songs, and the way they sing those words evokes those feelings that their feeling. Not the circumstances. I couldn’t give jack shit about the circumstances. But I feel that emotions that the artist is feeling, and I relate it to my own personal circumstances that may be completely different from those of the artist.
The good singer evokes that emotion in his song. Translates that emotional extreme into sound like a brilliant writer telling the most brilliant story. The popcorn pieces of shit singers just blab about the circumstances, and no emotional weight is felt at all.
Anyway..another pointless rant for today. I just really loved the emotion that this song Small Town Boy evokes. Even if the singer felt it because some farm-boy gave it to him the wrong way up the ass.
Um…did I say some thing politically incorrect? RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!
Yeah, I know, get off my case. But anyway. I didn’t realize it’s a gay song. Haha. Buncha horny homos singing for another horny homo (hey, that’s not discriminating…its just honest, fuck off.). My point is, I really love this song..a lot.
People say you love songs because you can relate to what their saying, that’s half-truth bull. I cant relate to homosexual love to some small town dude. These singers are singing about what they feel about this brown eyed boy.
Emotions are universal. Everybody knows what its like to be in love, or ecsastic, or depressed, or furious or shattered…Whats different is the shallow circumstances that evokes these emotions. They sing about the circumstances, sure…but the tune of their songs, and the way they sing those words evokes those feelings that their feeling. Not the circumstances. I couldn’t give jack shit about the circumstances. But I feel that emotions that the artist is feeling, and I relate it to my own personal circumstances that may be completely different from those of the artist.
The good singer evokes that emotion in his song. Translates that emotional extreme into sound like a brilliant writer telling the most brilliant story. The popcorn pieces of shit singers just blab about the circumstances, and no emotional weight is felt at all.
Anyway..another pointless rant for today. I just really loved the emotion that this song Small Town Boy evokes. Even if the singer felt it because some farm-boy gave it to him the wrong way up the ass.
Um…did I say some thing politically incorrect? RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Life: great? sad? tough? funny? hopeless? fun? miserable? painfull? infuriating? haunting? mythic? awesome? (can you say WAYNES WORLD?).wow long title
This is the random series of events that is my life.
I need to study. On Monday, I’m jumping into a rotation, general surgery, where (believe it or not) almost every single consultant, and the head of department, wants my head on a pike. To them, I’m the prick that cant be kept under control, and doesn’t know jack shit about medicine. Why do they think this? Me not giving a shit what they think, and not ass kissing them when they want it, saying the absolute wrong things at the wrong time (only cause I’m being honest dammit haha), and most of all: They gossip like old ladies in a home. Small minded bastards.
I wont get to study at ALL during this rotation, cause its gonna be so busy, and I have to be on my absolute best behavior if I want these guys to give me a chance in hell of passing the course (the assessment is subjective, so their opinion matters a shit-load. Great. My future rests on the opinion of biped cockroaches).
And boyoboy, do I have a shit-load of exams to study for. Woahhh. I truly pray I make it. I know I have a fighting chance if I just keep pushing it…but dammit, procrastinations feels so good! Haha..no, I’ll do it.
Plus my book..man, I feel the urge to express myself in that book way too much than my present schedule will allow, so I guess I’m gonna put it on hold, at least until June.
Anyway…just my rant for the day :)
Take care.
S
I need to study. On Monday, I’m jumping into a rotation, general surgery, where (believe it or not) almost every single consultant, and the head of department, wants my head on a pike. To them, I’m the prick that cant be kept under control, and doesn’t know jack shit about medicine. Why do they think this? Me not giving a shit what they think, and not ass kissing them when they want it, saying the absolute wrong things at the wrong time (only cause I’m being honest dammit haha), and most of all: They gossip like old ladies in a home. Small minded bastards.
I wont get to study at ALL during this rotation, cause its gonna be so busy, and I have to be on my absolute best behavior if I want these guys to give me a chance in hell of passing the course (the assessment is subjective, so their opinion matters a shit-load. Great. My future rests on the opinion of biped cockroaches).
And boyoboy, do I have a shit-load of exams to study for. Woahhh. I truly pray I make it. I know I have a fighting chance if I just keep pushing it…but dammit, procrastinations feels so good! Haha..no, I’ll do it.
Plus my book..man, I feel the urge to express myself in that book way too much than my present schedule will allow, so I guess I’m gonna put it on hold, at least until June.
Anyway…just my rant for the day :)
Take care.
S
Friday, April 20, 2007
Oh yeah, I write a blog, dont I? d'uhhh!
I know its been ages since I last wrote…so much has happened..
I actually came on here several times to write new blogs, but I think somethings either wrong with the site, or my computers web programs…I write the whole blog, and then when I press “publish”, it takes AGES to load the next page…actually, it NEVER loads the page, but after about 5 minutes of waiting, ALL the shyte I wrote just kinda DISSAPEARS. Yes, it deletes itself like pac-man eating those corny dots.
I gave up. Read an old blog down below, and you’ll know how much I HATE having the stuff I write being lost without backing it up….even if it’s a small, insignificant piece of shit. I just hate it …feels so demoralizing. Like I just poured my heart into something for twenty minutes, and then it just disappears..laughs at those 20 minutes of open expression as if it meant absolutely nothing. Blehh.
But anyway..I’m back. I don’t garuntee I’ll write very regularly: I’m still in medschool, so it’s a perty busy schedule I’ve got. Add that to the major procrastination and self-destructive and just plain LAZY attitude that I’ve got, and you get a guy writing blogs pretty damn rarely. Anyway.
I think I need to find some direction for these blogs.
The books going really well..A little slow over the past few days because of medschool work getting more hectic, but still obsessively on my mind, and a few bursts of brilliance being written down every now and again.
Love-Life? Haha..interesting ups and downs. Incredible highs that could make me fly, and crushing lows causeing more pain than I thought possible. I’ll get into the details later. Just ask if ur really curious.
Anyway…I’ll sign off for now.
Take care.
Oh yeah..I noticed I pay too much attention to the detail of my writing, don’t I? So much so, that it actually retards the flow that all these ideas come out with. I should just let go, and let the shit flow, detach myself a little from whether it’ll be good enough or not, from my love of the books characters, etc etc, and just allow that river to flow right out of this perpetually distracted head of mine.
Anyway, take care #2
S
I actually came on here several times to write new blogs, but I think somethings either wrong with the site, or my computers web programs…I write the whole blog, and then when I press “publish”, it takes AGES to load the next page…actually, it NEVER loads the page, but after about 5 minutes of waiting, ALL the shyte I wrote just kinda DISSAPEARS. Yes, it deletes itself like pac-man eating those corny dots.
I gave up. Read an old blog down below, and you’ll know how much I HATE having the stuff I write being lost without backing it up….even if it’s a small, insignificant piece of shit. I just hate it …feels so demoralizing. Like I just poured my heart into something for twenty minutes, and then it just disappears..laughs at those 20 minutes of open expression as if it meant absolutely nothing. Blehh.
But anyway..I’m back. I don’t garuntee I’ll write very regularly: I’m still in medschool, so it’s a perty busy schedule I’ve got. Add that to the major procrastination and self-destructive and just plain LAZY attitude that I’ve got, and you get a guy writing blogs pretty damn rarely. Anyway.
I think I need to find some direction for these blogs.
The books going really well..A little slow over the past few days because of medschool work getting more hectic, but still obsessively on my mind, and a few bursts of brilliance being written down every now and again.
Love-Life? Haha..interesting ups and downs. Incredible highs that could make me fly, and crushing lows causeing more pain than I thought possible. I’ll get into the details later. Just ask if ur really curious.
Anyway…I’ll sign off for now.
Take care.
Oh yeah..I noticed I pay too much attention to the detail of my writing, don’t I? So much so, that it actually retards the flow that all these ideas come out with. I should just let go, and let the shit flow, detach myself a little from whether it’ll be good enough or not, from my love of the books characters, etc etc, and just allow that river to flow right out of this perpetually distracted head of mine.
Anyway, take care #2
S
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