Stood up...Stand up. Stand up? Stand up.

So what do you do when you have nothing to say?

You remind yourself that you exist for a reason, and for as long as your alive, you have a purpose to drive yourself to death for, and you will always have some aspect to express about it, whether its in writing, or song, or action, or film.

You know? I’m thinking of trying out for some stand-up comedy. Most of them out there are the ultimate pessimists. Winner Pessimists, I call them. They’ve got serious issues in the world just like any other tom dick or harry, but instead of letting it get to them, because their smart or have a sense of humour, they see the humor behind it, and they make jokes out of it. Like how Russell Peters dad used to beat him up, or how Francisco never really fit in with the jocks of life, or how Chris Rock has deep-seated race issues..etc etc. So they take these perceived negative aspects, and instead of getting consumedly bitter over it, they joke about it. Great, good for them. They script the shit their going to say in a skeleton form, and talk around those 5, 6 or 50 topics that they’v scripted before hand, so a lot of their stand ups are mostly repetitions or improvisations of their own old jokes.

But theres a few stand ups out there (like Craig Ferguson…damn, love that dude.), he gets up every night to the same audience (um…National television audience) and spends 10 minutes just expressing his thoughts on the events of the day/week. Every night a different thing. So he just stands up there and talks shit about the things he saw, and he’s just genuinely funny. They way he interprets the world, the way he sees things is just fucking strange and hilarious to see. He’s not trying to be funny. He just goes up there and says whatever the heck comes to his head and its funny.

So I’m thinking, maybe I should give it a try. Sure, I’ll probably get completely consumed with a fear and nervousness that I wont even fully understand but will end up completely ruining any prospects of me being a success…but I gots to try, right? And just try not to think so much and just dump whatever in my head onto the audiences lap with no fear of consequence or appropriateness. I don’t want to be funny, I just want to be me.

But where the hell do I start? Where do I go? Haha.

Oh yeah, my opening line! “what do you do when you have nothing to say?” I started this blog with that line for a reason…I was thinking. When I go on stage, hoping to be a good stand up, I’ll start getting nervous, and wondering what the HELLLLLLL to say, right? So I figured I could get myself started every single time with the line “what do you do when you have nothing to say?” (after the intro of course)..then I could work my way through the stand up from there. For example, I start out with the aforementioned line, and today, with nothing better to say, respond to my line by saying “you dip your nose in chocolate and spend your lunch hour trying to touch it with your tongue.” And then carry on from there…get what I’m saying? Kind of like how ol’Craig Ferguson always starts his stand ups by saying “It’s a great day for America, everybody! Why? Um…” then goes on from there.
It SHOULD work, right? Right?? RIGHT??!?!?!??