Shadow

Theres this thing that pops up in my head when I’m overcome with despair, or when I’m overcome with happiness. I never notice it coming, but only I realize it when its too late. When its already here.

I thought that it’s fear. I thought it’s that terrified part of me that wants hold me back from all the little things and big things of life. The part of me that thinks little of me. But whatever it is, it also pops up when something happens that’s almost too good to be true. When I’m overcome with happiness. It waits for me to be lost in that feeling, with my head in the clouds, completely overjoyed and in disbelief. And then it comes.

It’s the part of me that hates me. It waits for when I’ve lost an iota of control of my self. Whether I’ve lost myself in fear, or hopelessness, or extreme happiness. It sabotages every aspect of my life that it possibly can. Makes me do things that I wouldn’t believe in my “conscious” states. How do I keep it back?

I’m going to name you. I will name you Mr. Valentine. Because of the massacres you’ve caused.

Haha….okay, waaaay too corny for a short story, huh? Maybe..I’ll see.

Adios.
S